The first of many coffee talks with the modern mom 🙂
Today I wanted to talk to you about something that is sooooooo rampant in our lives and on social media. We have gluten free, wheat free, dairy free, no sugar, no caffeine, no carbs, no meat etc… Then there are all the crazy fads, lemon water fasts, grapefruit diets, and so many ways to restrict food intake.
We all want to feel better and look better. I get this. I am not here to debate the benefits of ANY eating style. What I am here to talk about is the WHY. I am all for healthy lifestyle. What healthy means to me will be different than what it means to you. My main question for you is this; what are you looking for in this diet and fitness routine?
What are you looking for in a strict diet and fitness routine?
Three issues as to why strict diet plans don’t work.
One issue is that we are unhappy with our lives.
The reason why I ask this is because what I find most often, especially with those that are more sensitive, is that we always start with strict eating plans when we are unhappy with our lives. We tend to always start here. You might have a shit storm going on in life, but somehow cutting sugar is going to make everything ok. And then we go on a restrictive diet for a couple weeks and then give up. Why?
I would say that what you truly want is to be happy. To feel heard and loved. To have connection to people that matter to you. And you won’t find this in a diet.
I want to challenge you here a little. Is eating healthy a good thing? Yes. Is setting yourself up for the most insane self hate spiral a good thing? No. We always want to dig around a little to find out why we are seeking this specific change. The reality is that you don’t really connect to numbers on a scale. Those really only seek to create more judgement. Even when you were at a lower weight or more tone self, I bet you didn’t feel good then, it wasn’t enough. We can look at pictures where we look so good and think, how could I not see how good I looked then?
A second issue with starting on a restrictive diet plan to get happy, you are sensitive to energy.
Did you know that sugar helps your body numb out to feeling things that aren’t yours? So let me walk you through a scenario for a moment. You have a home that feels crappy, you have toxic energy all around the people in your home. You might even be struggling with “other side” energy around you. So you want to feel better and decide to go on a three day juice cleanse and release those toxins. You have now opened up your energy to feel things times a thousand. You don’t understand why you have such an insane craving for sugar or carbs. So you reach for judgement. You just have no willpower. You can’t handle a three day juice cleanse, what a loser. You condemn yourself so harshly and you pile on the hate.
Imagine if you will going to a pop star concert… and now imagine feeling what everyone in the concert is feeling and thinking. Imagine hearing everything that people were thinking. How would you feel? Would you even be able to hear yourself think? This is what it is like for the sensitive. Starting to feel better is a good thing, my question is why do you start with food? When you are around toxic energy, your will expand. How many times have you blamed food for something when in reality it is because you are around really harsh energy. Our bodies do this amazing thing where it will bloat to help you not absorb the toxins. No diet is going to help you with this. You have to address the negative energy to get this bloat to leave. Did you know that your self hate talk is 10 times more poisonous to your body than anything you eat? Yep, your self talk be worse than the desert you had.
A third issue is that sensitives already feel lack.
This means that we feel behind and like our lives are on hold. Starting in on a restrictive diet will only add to your lack. There is another thing being taken away. It triggers that behind feeling in us and we get a little nutty. It is difficult for us to stay on this path for very long. And again, we heap on piles of self hate that we can’t seem to get what we want.
So does this mean throw out the healthy lifestyle? No. But let’s get really clear as to why all the diets are working.
You will never stick to something that brings on judgement and self hate.
So how do sensitive souls navigate eating and fitness goals?
DISCLAIMER: Of course there are medical conditions that require a change in diet and fitness. This isn’t to go against what a medical professional is asking of you. I do want to add, that even with dietary changes for medical conditions, these approaches will help you as well. Sensitive to energy is a real thing and understand this will help lessen symptoms that you may be experiencing.
Here are five ways we can start to feel better and begin a healthy lifestyle routine.
The first step in creating a healthy routine is to get really clear as to why.
Eating healthy or starting a fitness plan are good things when we come from the proper perspective. This can’t SAVE you. It can’t make up for a chaotic lifestyle. To feel good is the most important thing. If you say you want to be a size 8 in two months and haven’t working on fitness or health for years, this is unrealistic and will only continue to grow in a negative direction, fueling your negative self thoughts. So get really clear. Ultimately, if you felt good, it wouldn’t matter what size you were. I mean, really… don’t you want to be happy? Isn’t that really what is deep down? Don’t you want to feel loved? You won’t get there with self hate. It always starts with you.
The second step is to understand what is going on in the energy.
If you have really harsh and toxic energy at home, going on a cleanse will not feel good at all. Yes sugar is not the best for us. However, in toxic energy it is a tool we have used to survive. It is a low vibration tool, but a tool none the less. Getting in better energy is the focus. Finding ways to clear energy, ground your energy and feel safe in your home will need to be in place before touching a diet or fitness plan. I can’t emphasize this enough. You won’t last if you skip this step.
Does the home need to be perfect? Do you have to ditch people? No. Maybe. It depends. You will need to find safety. Find routines that you can count on. Start taking salt baths, taking care of your energy first will create the space to make the most progress. If you want to speed up your results… make sure to do this step.
The third step is to add first.
As a sensitive soul you always start with adding in things first. This will help you not jump into lack and feeling behind. Add in water, add in walking, add in green things, add in more sleep. Find things that you can start adding into your diet and fitness goals. Spend some time getting this on track. I often spend at least 30 days implementing new things before I move on the next phase. You will feel better. I can’t even tell you how much better you feel getting fluid in. Remember how I said your body bloats with negative energy around you? If you take salt baths and drink lots of water, THAT is how you get rid of that kind of bloat.
Change the energy around eating. If you can make the preparing of food more fun. Make a celebration and cool routine around eating, using plates and sitting down at the table. If you were to eat something “not on track” in celebration and happiness, it would not affect you. It is when you are hiding and judging while you eat that adds so much to your body. Most of the time our self hate is what is keeping us stuck and not making the progress we crave.
The fourth step is to swap out.
Now that you have added in some cool things to your food and fitness routines, you are starting to feel the natural desire to change up the food. Swap out. Don’t just delete. Can you swap out that cookie for a shake. Softer foods are easier to digest so even swapping to softer food will help. Most people can’t absorb nutrients in the food they eat. So adding a probiotic while eating something on the softer side. Swap out ice-cream for yogurt with berries. Swap out walking with hiking. Don’t be so rigid that there is no room for letting in other things that feel good. I wasn’t really into hiking. However, I love urban hiking. Looking for ways to swap things out will help you to not trigger that lack instinct inside of us.
The fifth step is to increase.
This is important. Before taking out whole food groups start to increase. Increase the activity, increase the water, increase greens. As we increase what we already doing, it naturally heals us and we are drawn to put down items that no longer feel good. Increasing helps us to keep moving forward in our goals. And don’t forget to celebrate. When you feel better, when you switch things up, change your perspective and create more peace and joy in your life!
After you have been doing this for awhile, trust me you will feel so good and will miss some of the self hate land mines that are waiting for you in the land of diets. At this point, tweaking your diet plan will feel good. Here is where you can see what feels good. It might be starting to let go of coffee, or let go of midnight snacks, or seeing if letting go of sugar feels good. This is where you can see what food affects you. I personally drink coffee and I am totally ok with that. Everyone might have an opinion on that, or worry that they will not be able to connect to intuition. I connect just fine 🙂 Every person is different and has different needs. Be open to what you might need and also what might NOT impact you and therefore, does not need to be deleted from your life.
Feeling good is the most important thing. As we navigate into a healthy routine, I hope this helps you find your way to being happy and healthy!
Let me know in the comments below what you are doing to change your healthy habits.
P. S. I have done so much healing on sensitive souls on eating issues. There can be trauma that needs healing to release in the energy so that you can get past that to move into a healthy lifestyle. We often absorb trauma on the energetic level and that will need healing. There is always hope and love in the process of claiming back your life and happiness! You can always reach out if you feel stuck in this area 🙂 We can determine what needs to be cleared and what needs to be healed.