AM I A SENSITIVE? AM I AN EMPATH?
I remember six years ago embarking on a journey. I heard the word “empath” and decided to add it to my google search. In one moment my whole world opened up. I was terrified of the prospect, while at the same time able to make sense of all of my previous experiences. I quickly found there were a ton of “experts” online that were eager to tell me what I needed and what it meant to be a sensitive. The problem was that these “experts” all contradicted each other and it was very confusing. Their ego and harshness made it difficult for me to approach them.
I will never forget my experience in a “woo woo” group where a woman asked for crystal suggestions for her child. I gave her some suggestions of crystals that worked for me and my children. This one self-professed shaman/healer/guru overheard our conversation and immediately pounced on me. I was publicly ridiculed and shamed by this lady, who was outraged that ‘I thought I knew anything’ when she’s the real expert, having read over 4000 books. I would like to point out that this was a group with no actual leader. It was meant for like-minded individuals to gather, ask questions, share tips, and learn more. It was not this woman’s personal group, nor was she a facilitator. I was new to this world and I felt myself shrink in that moment.
I decided then that I would never speak up in a group like this ever again, especially if that was the response I was going to get. Rather than an inviting environment, it morphed into a group of more than 2000 people fighting for the chance to be the best. It was an ugly competition, a game of ‘who’s who’ and ‘who is right’. The other souls like me who came to actually learn something understood quickly that they did not belong. This saddens me because I see how it turns people away from those who actually do want to help. I never want people to feel that way around me. We don’t need lots of fancy words either, we just want to know what the energy is and what to do. I don’t need to convince people that I am good or know what I am talking about. I can only do what I do and let people decide for themselves.
I took courses, read books, and followed people online. I wanted to make sense of this sensitive experience. What I quickly found out is that most of the experts were telling me what they thought they knew, while they themselves had not yet mastered it; lots of talking without anything to show for it. I found most of the leaders to be harsh, sick, or just plain lost in their own pain. I felt like I was on a wild goose chase, trying to find a way to understand what the hell was going on and how to manage it in a way that didn’t make me look or feel crazy.
My own journey became fueled by my passion to help my daughters manage their sensitivities. I invested so much time in learning all about energy. I found that energy became something I could trust. It never lies. I didn’t want my kids to feel out of control or that they were at the mercy of their feelings and emotions. And you know what? It was all worth it. All the blood, sweat, and tears of learning and unlearning how to manage the beautiful gift of the sensitive soul.
Let’s look at what being sensitive is:
The word sensitive as defined by dictionary.com is being “quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals, or influences”, or a person or person’s behavior “having or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others’ feelings”. It does not say that a sensitive person is weak or timid. I think we need a new definition of what “being sensitive” really means. I can’t think of anyone that would want to be called a weak or timid sensitive. And yet at our core we are sensitive to energy and vibration. Everything is energy. This is why we can feel people, places, things, feelings, animals, days of the week, and even the seasons. We feel all kinds of energy, here in the physical world, as well as on the other side.
I know this goes against many of the experts out there in ‘google land’, but it doesn’t matter if you are an empath, a HSP (highly sensitive person), an indigo, crystal child, medium, intuitive, psychic, healer, helper, counselor, etc… if you have two lights, you are sensitive to energy. Read more about Understanding Energy Through Lights here. And to dispel any ideas about which one is better, we all have the medium gift. This is our ability to read energy. Any sensitive can learn how to read, clear, and become masters of their own energy. We no longer have to remain sick, tired, and overwhelmed. The type of sensitive that you are will affect how you manage energy and what energy you are more likely to be sensitive around. Some experience more anxiety, while others feel despair. Some are more in tune with people’s feelings, while others can read plants or animals. Knowing your unique gifts, or ways you understand energy, will help you start to make sense of your world and why you are here.
Ultimately, most sensitives are driven to know more about why they are here and feel a deep connection to their purpose. Sensitives must learn energy. This is the foundation of how to uncover one’s purpose and live a happy and fulfilled life. Most have experienced the painful side of things, giving up on the idea that real happiness and love actually exist.
We have a beautiful PDF that talks about the sensitive soul…
Here are a few areas that might interest you as a sensitive:
We feel things that aren’t ours. I am sure you are aware that you feel a lot of things. But did you know that you collect feelings that aren’t yours and they don’t leave unless you do something about it? This is like getting dirt on the windshield. It won’t leave unless you clean the glass. The more you drive, the more dirt you collect. Learning how to clear will help you feel less of what others feel and more of your own feelings. Read more about clearing here.
We’re sensitive to environments. This means you can feel an argument that is lingering in the air, you can feel a creepy house, or the peace of the ocean. You feel the energy in spaces.
Food is not the enemy. We are sensitive to so many things that our bodies get overwhelmed and start to complain. Usually we associate the pain or symptoms with food. We get obsessed about what we are allergic to. Food may actually be something you are sensitive to, but usually it is minor compared to all the other stuff we pick up on. Our stomachs bloat when we are around really toxic or dark energy. So if we were get rid of that, we wouldn’t need such strict diets. We might not even be lactose or gluten intolerant.
We have a lot of body symptoms. This goes along with the food idea, however, we also pick up on symptoms of others. We can feel the same pain as another person that is around us, or we are connected to. I see this all the time. It’s as if you are sharing a headache with another person. If you start to become aware of this and learn how to clear, you will be surprised at how much pain can be gone in seconds/minutes.
We experience a high amount of fear and anxiety. Usually this is because we are feeling so much that isn’t ours. Our bodies and minds can’t make sense of this so it can become anxiety. Imagine you are unintentionally picking up on the anxiety of the person next to you on the subway. All of a sudden, you feel anxious and you don’t understand why. This causes your mind to scan for possible reasons. You either find a plausible reason why you are anxious, or you start to imagine that something bad is going to happen. This anxiety does not belong to you, and yet you still feel it as though it were your own.
We can be shy. I have found this unique ability in sensitives to be both introverted and extroverted. This can be confusing as most would identify as being shy. If the people in a group have harsh energy and you don’t feel safe, the shy observer in your personality will come forward. On the other hand, if you are surrounded by people that feel good to you, that you are comfortable with, your extroverted self can truly shine. We still need downtime to recharge, but we may not be as shy as we think.
We usually have had our fair share of toxic relationships. I talk about this a lot when teaching people about lights. Most sensitives attract toxic relationships, most common are the “empath and narcissist” combination.
School systems don’t understand the needs of sensitive children.
When we have children we quickly learn that the systems in place don’t often work or help our sensitive children. Schools aren’t equipped to handle the specialized needs of sensitive children. Doctors often have a difficult time as well, how do you get a diagnosis when the symptoms are always changing? Our children feel more than we do and pick up on energy all around them. They will have physical symptoms that are caused by negative energy. I remember my children always having headaches or stomach aches that would randomly come and go. When we learn how to clear energy, systems tend to be easier on our children.
We love the idea of money, but often are either not good at managing it, or feel a lot of shame around it. Sensitives don’t really connect to money so it is hard for us to deal with it. We have also picked up on others’ feelings around money and that stays with us. The reason we have a hard time connecting to money is because it is an illusion. When we want to work with money we are better off dealing with what we want the money for. We will work hard to provide for our families’ needs, but just to make more money without a reason won’t typically produce lasting results.
We have this strange relationship with confidence. We usually lack confidence in most areas of our lives, and yet we also have this strange sense that we are good at something, if we could just uncover what that is. We struggle with confidence in making choices, our money, our bodies, our gifts, etc. We crave confidence and yet we can’t get past the feelings that we are “behind” or not “good enough”.
We love our labels. I don’t think we want to love labels, but we have been trying to make sense of our worlds for so long. We wonder why we are the way we are or why we feel the way we do. We learned at a young age that creating labels help us to make sense of the world. The problem is that if it is incorrect, it is so difficult for us to rewrite our labels and allow a new perception to come into play. They act as safety mechanisms for us, even if we hate the label.
We don’t feel safe. Because we feel so much all the time, we will always seek safety. We look for it in our jobs, in our relationships, and anywhere else we can. We typically rely on people’s words to make us feel safe. There are so many empty words and promises out there. As sensitives we can feel the sincerity behind them, whether we realize this on a conscious level or not. The disconnect can be so confusing for us, which is why it is essential to learn about energy. Reading the energy behind the words and trusting your ability to discern the true intentions will help you develop safety. This is why routines are so important. They provide a sense of safety that we can control, especially while we are still learning about our energy and its effects.
We often have a distorted sense of what love is. We have been programmed at a young age to believe what we hear over what we feel. So many times fake or conditional love is what we know and real love is what we fear. We are used to the rules, control, and strings that come with fake love. When we find real love it scares us and we often self-sabotage, pushing it away. Free will and choice do not feel like love when you have been controlled your whole life. I have a blog on real love vs fake love here.
There is so much more to say about the ups and downs of being sensitive. I will have to save that for another day. There is simply too much for one blog post. I would like to share a few ways to help find some relief. One of the core foundations that I have in all of my programs and sessions is the belief that we need relief above all else. That is always the first priority because when you get some relief, clarity comes. You can finally think again and things don’t feel as murky. When you have clarity, decisions are easier to make and movement can happen. With enough movement you can move into momentum, and before you know it you are living a fulfilling life. The true foundation for all sensitives is relief, clarity, movement and connection. We can’t get the relief we need when we feel alone and isolated. Healing can happen with just knowing there are others that feel the same as you. It is good to start looking for ways to feel relief.
Here are a few ideas to help you feel better:
SALT is one of those things that is really good at helping the sensitive soul feel better. Salt baths, salt water, or really anything with salt can provide you with some relief. It helps by naturally eating away at some of what we pick up on, such as the feelings of others. Salt lamps are also an easy and effective way to feel better. I happen to love salt baths, when I have time. When in a rush, salt showers can do the trick. I get the water warm and then turn it off. I place two mounds of salt on the shower floor, step on it, then turn the shower back on. I just imagine anything I have picked up during my day, going down the drain. This is especially good after work or a long day.
Using your intentions is another way to help ease the overwhelm. If you are in the store and feel weird panic or anxiety come on that wasn’t there before, tell your mind that it is probably something that isn’t yours. You can ask that anything around you leave. Just knowing that you might be picking up on someone else helps to ease the mind from trying to figure out why YOU are feeling anxious.
NATURE is one of those things that we just can’t help but feel better in. Getting out in nature, a walk in the trees or along the river, can work wonders when you’re seeking relief. My family and I often take walks along the ocean or in the forest where we live. Finding places that feel good in your area is really important. During especially stressful times, I would suggest including a nature walk or drive in your daily routine.
Getting into a MORNING & EVENING ROUTINE will help your energy. We need safety and things we can count on. The routine and rituals we put into place help ground us and bring safety. If I know that every night I am taking a salt bath, or drinking tea by the fire, my body knows this and counts on it. Every time I do something in my daily routine I help myself ground and feel stability.
Lots of people use CRYSTALS to help with their energy. There are crystals that help clear and ground your energy like smokey quartz. It is one of the most common stones that a sensitive can use and it is readily available in stores or online.
I can’t stress the importance of CLEARING enough. My life changed drastically when I learned how to clear and incorporated this in my daily routines. Learning how to clear correctly is essential, as it provides safety and stability in your life. I have some clearing resources here. Check out my clearing blog here.
I have helped thousands of people through clearing and teaching energy. We live in a world that is full of external pressures and confusion. Having your internal world make sense and a strategy for how to handle the rest is imperative to become confident and happy in your life. No one is able to bypass this step. We can hide and pretend for a while, but eventually our desires and dreams will wake us up. There are times when it becomes too much to try and figure it out on your own. Reading a book on energy won’t help you understand because energy work requires the use of your intuition, not your mind. Many of us want to go from despair to our dream life in one session, or in reading one book.
Understanding energy and getting confident takes time. This is why you need a guide more than you need a teacher. A teacher will tell you to go over there and do x, y and z. A guide will go with you, showing you how to do it for yourself, there for you every step of the way. It has taken me years to master my own energy and gifts, but having done so my world now makes sense to me. I can authentically say I am happy and fulfilled in my purpose. I have fun and am creative, and I didn’t have to sacrifice parts of me to get there. I am 100 % me with no hiding. It is difficult to articulate just how good that feels. I can experience this sense of fulfillment because I know how to handle negative energy and how to use my love for good in this world.
There is no better feeling than that. If you feel you would like to learn more about clearing or even schedule a call with me, CLICK HERE. You have no idea how much relief you can feel, even in one session. It helps to get to know me a little, see the results for yourself. It is a small investment to see if you respond to this kind of session and if you want to continue on the journey. Can you imagine what it would be like to feel good almost all of the time and in every area of your life?
You are worth it, worth happiness, worth feeling good again.