I am sitting here, sipping a cup of coffee, and contemplating how to share about the world of lights with you. My intention for sharing this new perspective is to help make sense of our world and offer some relief. I am not making people out to be good or bad. It is simply understanding the energy and intention behind a person. This helps us to make choices and decisions in strength and adds to our confidence to feel better in our lives. It is important to remember that every person has choice, even in their energy.
As modern day sensitives, we need to understand the energy around us. We are sensitive to both the physical world and the other side. We have hopes and dreams just like everybody else. We want to feel fulfilled and in our purpose. We buy planners, journals, and books as we set out onto the journey of creating the life we want. Though the books we read may be amazing, they don’t quite capture the journey of the sensitive soul. Change for a sensitive is much different than for anyone else. There are layers and layers that we must wade through as we create change in our lives. Because of this we tend to get stuck, and often give up on change altogether. We find ourselves in a modern version of Groundhog’s Day. Same stuff, different day.
My whole goal in my business and healing practice is to help guide through this process of change. I help people get relief, clarity, movement, and connection. I have placed relief as the first priority. This is because we need to feel better to find our hope. It is amazing what can happen to a sensitive soul that feels connected, supported and in hope. There is no stopping us.
I have found that there is another layer to understanding how energy and personalities combine. While we don’t need more labels, I find that understanding the personality of certain energies will help us to make sense of our experiences, and hopefully bring clarity. I was shown lights back in NYC in 2015 and it has impacted my life in a huge way. I am no longer sucker punched in the gut with other people’s negative energy. Rather, I understand energy, which helps me navigate around people and circumstances. I am in control of my life and not always reacting to everyone around me. I am a seer. I am able to discern energy and how to use this information to help you get “unstuck” and back into the flow.
Since that experience, I have been teaching about lights and helping people gain some awareness. With clarity we are free to make choices in strength, rather than blindly in the dark. Everybody is aware of the curious relationship between the empath and narcissist, but when we understand energy we can see how each type impacts us. We feel more in control. I remember when I was married, I was always baffled at the ups and downs. I would think we had turned a corner only to find out months later things were worse than ever before. We are always trying to figure things out, it is in our nature. However, we can’t make sense of things without all of the information. This confusion is why we often stay in relationships that are WAYYYYYY past their due date. Clarity can be very healing.
So let’s dive in and learn about energy and the lights that people have inside of them.
When we “read” people or use our intuition to gain insight into a person, we use our senses. Most of us were not raised to trust our intuition and so we lack confidence. Our intuition can read the energy or lights of people. We may not believe it logically, but our insides will often give us information about a person. I have been healing thousands of people over the last several years. Week after week, person after person, experiencing body pain or emotional discomfort, and yet not understanding why. Stories have been created to explain away the pain or feelings. I have yet to work on one person that has the actual symptom of an illness that wasn’t affected by energy. No one wants to believe that they are in chronic pain because of the person they are living with, working with, or in relationship with.
Our bodies are tired of it. They understand that the only way to get our attention is to get really loud and uncomfortable. Often times we don’t realize how bad we feel until we get relief. The lights have never failed me when it comes to reading energy and its potential impact on people. There are several types of lights we will explore. There are no lights, one lights, two lights (open), two lights (flip flop), two lights (closed), and three lights. Before we dive in, I will be using some psychological terms as well as some pop culture references to help with our understanding. While psychology is my background, in this blog I will be using those terms loosely to help identify energy. Most people have a hard time identifying lights at first. We are trained to listen to words and ignore actions. So it takes time to readjust your mind to pick up on what is truly there, rather than the lies we are taught to believe.
NO LIGHT: NARCISSISTIC PSYCHOPATH
Let’s start with the no light. I often refer to this light as the “no soul”, or more robot-like energy. They have narcissistic personality traits. They are the ultimate victims, blamers, and distractors to the sensitives. I have found there to be two kinds of narcissistic energies: the narcissistic psychopath (no light), and the narcissistic sociopath (two light closed). You will notice that I deviate a little from psychology’s definitions of these personality types. I believe the two are opposite in how destructive they are. No lights are not strategic, despite what most think of the characteristics of a psychopath. They are unable to plan ahead or think things through for the long term. I will go into further detail about sociopaths in the two light closed section below.
The no light is very much about themselves and they do not have the ability to feel or have empathy for another person. They are a weaker form of narcissist in that they are limited in how they manipulate. They are unable to read the energy of another person. Don’t get it twisted though, they are still manipulators. They just can’t be as strategic as other personalities because they are not gifted or sensitive to energy. They want to be the center of attention, yet if they are called out on their behavior they will blame, deflect, and distract. Their number one fear is having others see the hollowness within. This is why they constantly need new relationships or experiences. They crave the ‘honeymoon’ phase, because the excitement in the beginning of a relationship makes it easier to mask their true intentions.
Cheating is very common with no lights because they are always seeking someone to tell them they are special. They are unable to find that inside themselves because that would require authentic feelings. They can manipulate for a time, but eventually they will stall out. They are too lazy to hold on to the charade for any stretch of time. No lights can typically fake feelings and fool people for about six months at a time. They rush into relationships and jobs as fast as possible because they know the clock is ticking.
They are drawn to sensitives because they need to be able to successfully point blame. Sensitives that are in an open and feeling state are the perfect victims to no lights because… they are the fixers. They will read all the books, go to counseling, turn over every stone looking for ways to make it work. This is perfect because the no light takes no ownership over anything, so it is easy to just point blame and watch the sensitive soul spin out for months or years at a time. This causes the sensitive to become a shame surrogate for the no light. They will try to prove they are worthy of love to a no soul who is incapable of giving or receiving it. The sensitive collects evidence of their failure and buries it internally in the form of shame.
The other use sensitives have for no lights is to explain away behavior. No lights have no shame, never feeling bad or embarrassed for their behavior. They may feel anger when caught, but they are not capable of remorse. This is the kind of person who will cut in line and act surprised when called out. That’s why they need to keep people around that can act as both a buffer and a translator. They will often say or do things that are inappropriate, so they rely on their partner to explain away their behavior. They hate being alone, as they need someone with emotions invested in them to help them fake their way through life.
No lights steal our energy, feeding on our vibrant souls. Much like a “dementor” in Harry Potter, they suck the life and joy out of us. We feel cold and numb the longer we have been in a relationship with this type of person. As they are draining away their victim’s hope and happiness, they also extinguish any spark of fight a sensitive might have had. This allows them to get away with their behavior often, despite their lack of cunning. This is why removing oneself from a no light’s presence can make all the difference in the world. Warmth returns and there is a chance for hope and clarity.
Examples of No Lights:
In the movie, Snow White and the Huntsman, the brother of the queen is a no light. He wants fame and money so he has no problem doing anything his sister asks.
In Legally Blonde, Warner, Elle’s boyfriend is a great example of a no light. He has literally no idea that taking someone to dinner, making a big deal about their relationship, and then breaking up is a bad thing. He is clueless of his inability to pick up on social cues.
In Vanderpump Rules, Jax is a classic no light. When we watch this reality TV show together nothing shocks us. In every episode he lies, cheats, and steals. He loses his cool when people call him out on his BS. He constantly seeks both people and things to make him look better than he is. Notice I said look and not feel.
The uncle in Harry Potter is a no light.
In Stranger Things season 2, Max’s brother Billy is a no light.
And as a side note… about half of the leaders in churches, coaching, the self-help movement, and spirituality are no lights. This might explain why people are so fed up and feel like they are being used in this industry… because they are.
Here is a snippet of a talk I had with a client on No Lights:
Are no lights dumb?
They can act dumb a lot and do dumb things, but they will vary on the scale of sophistication. It is the energy behind the person that does not have the depth or cunning necessary to strategize. That does not mean that the person in front of the energy automatically has a low IQ.
We all want to hear that we are the most amazing to someone on this earth. They are beautiful at beginnings. They study people and learn early how to fake emotion. They say all the magic words but follow through with zero actions. Then we start questioning, but talking to them about it is useless. Their number one fear is to be exposed. So when they are called out on something their reaction is to blame. When we hear the words but can’t match the actions, they blame and we internalize. We start looking at what we can change or fix: our hair, our needs, ourselves. They point out our flaws and we go running off to better ourselves. There is only so long we can do that before we feel burnout. At this stage we have lost hope and hit despair.
I speak from experience, any kind of relationship that I have been in with a no light, I became the most insecure person. They take your confidence, happiness, joy, and hope, until there is nothing left and you are tapped out of all good feelings. And so we feel depleted and depressed. Most depressed people I know are in relationships with no lights. They don’t understand the energy and the drain. Sensitives especially are so allergic to that energy.
So then what happens? The survivor in us refuses to give up. We get up off the emotional floor, even more determined to make things work… until we burnout again. We go through this cycle where we are saving the relationship and then going into despair… over and over.
That is the cycle with them and it will never change. AND they are okay with that. If we stay in despair too long, then they can’t suck anymore hope out of us. They threaten to leave, stirring our fear of abandonment, so we jump in to save the relationship again. Some people give up and stay in despair. It doesn’t matter if it is a parent, friend, romantic interest, or someone at work. It is the same cycle. It is all judgment and blame.
What happens when you go to leave? They wig out, because now they must come to a choice. They either have to find a way to convince you to stay, or find another source of energy. Even their hate of you feeds them in some way.
It is probably one of the biggest head games we can go through because you can’t ever figure it out. There is no amount of books, counseling, or introspection that can help you. There is no way out, there is no hope. Losing hope is death to a sensitive.
In case you were wondering why I went more in depth on the characteristics and behaviors of the no light than the other lights, it is because they are very common and impact sensitives in most areas of their lives.
ONE LIGHT: HUMANS “NORMAL PEOPLE”
One lights are souls that are here to learn lessons on earth, in a way that grows and evolves their soul. One lights are humans and do not possess spiritual gifts. They are not healers or psychic, but they do possess a soul that is growing and evolving. They have a range of personalities (happy or crappy), but they do not have the same depth of an old soul. They feel comforted by the rules and systems that we have here on earth.
They are often very focused on living life very “normally”. They do not have a strong desire to save the planet and aren’t often taken to dreaming big. They do dream, just on a smaller scale than sensitives are used to. Their purpose is more about learning from everyday experience. They do not want to be pushed into awakening or soul movement. They are happy to just live and let live so to speak. No big agenda. They are often newer souls.
They like rules and order. They can handle working a job for 40 years and feel great satisfaction in that. They don’t feel the deep need for soul purpose and constant self improvement. They tend to do better in structure and having small attainable goals. They are also easily manipulated in the energy. They don’t see nuance and differences in energy. They don’t sense things like the sensitive. They do have intuition and a strong guidance system but it is very new and has a narrow scope.
They usually don’t find themselves in romantic partnerships with no lights. One lights like structure and safety which the no light rarely offers. One lights have some awareness and are growing on a much smaller scale, so the no light often gets bored in this relationship. One lights prefer science, data, hard facts, and logic, since they don’t experience energy to the same depths that we do. They definitely do not absorb others’ emotions. They can get frustrated with the sensitives in their lives because they just want to go at a slower pace, which is not the path of a sensitive.
In Harry Potter terms, these are the muggles. They do not have magic. Some enjoy being around those that are sensitive, others are not aware or in tune with anyone other than muggles. Most I would say do not believe in magic.
Examples of One Lights:
- Peter on the show, Vanderpump Rules…
- Scuttle, the seagull in The Little Mermaid.
- Paulette the manicurist and Elle’s sorority sisters in Legally Blonde.
- In Stranger Things season 2, Joyce’s boyfriend, Bob.
- In Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Newt Scamander’s ‘no-mag’ friend, Jacob Kowalski.
- In The Lord of the Rings trilogy, hobbits are typically one lights.
Two lights have several options. We have open, flip flop and hard closed. Two Lights have the opportunity to go on a Journey of the Soul. Most get lost in the pain, or turn, but those that persevere are the healers of this time. There are many terms being used on the internet to described the two light. Empath, sensitives, highly sensitive person, medium, intuitive, healer, helper, creative, counselor, you get the idea. Depending on open or closed nature of the two light depends on how their gifts are used. They are either used for love, or fake love. And to dispel any myths, every two light has medium abilities. Lots of people use this badge as an honor of separation, but in reality, this is the foundation of the sensitive soul to be able to feel energy and feelings. That is a medium gift. Let’s explore more deeply.
TWO LIGHT OPEN
These souls are here to save the planet. Most likely you fit into the two light mission. Two Lights have a second light shining from them that signals to other Two Lights so that we can find each other. There is a collective of Two Lights that have agreed to come here and help heal and restore souls and the planet. There is a big mission. There is a big why. There is often a lot of contrast in these souls. Deep pain brings about deep love and compassion which is needed to heal. We always have a choice, however, we find ourselves constantly being pulled. We have to choose love or fear.
Two Lights that choose love are filled with hope, love and a higher purpose. The ego is dimmed and love takes the stage. The metaphysical around them is light, and more loving than fear based. We are impacted by meta for sure, but our team of angels, love and light surrounds us. We are impacted by energy, but it comes from outside of us, not inside.
These are the sensitive souls that feel called to love, helping and healing. They are very gifted, although most would not think so. Most have had such a harsh life experience that they have lost most of their faith, confidence and trust. However, there is something inside of them that just can’t give up. Somehow they find hope a small spark of hope, rekindling their belief and searching for true love. There is a deep longing to grow and evolve that cannot be stopped. We crave connection, and yet sometimes we avoid it due to being hurt in the past.
Two lights open usually feel like there is a deeper purpose or reason for being here. Most want to explore their purpose and feel fulfilled in their life. They are able to use their intuition and read energy. Most do not know how to interpret the energy correctly, so they often lead very confused and painful lives. They are constantly trying to figure things out, like a computer on auto scan…
Examples of Two Light Open:
- In A Wrinkle In Time, Meg is a two light open. She goes on a journey and chooses love even in the face of darkness. She isn’t perfect, but she is brave. She made the ultimate choice to be a warrior for light and love.
- In Harry Potter, Harry and Hermione are great examples of two light open souls.
- In Snow White & the Huntsman, Snow white is the perfect example of a two light open, healing others where-ever she goes and despite being afraid, takes on the queen to get her crown back to save the people.
TWO LIGHT FLIP FLOPPER
The two light soul that does not feel safe but goes back and forth between love and fear is a flip flopper. They open and close like a clam with the tides. When they are wanting to connect to their purpose, they tend to open. When they open up their energy, they open up all the way without protection. There is no safety and often in this phase the sensitive gets really hurt. When the pain becomes too much, they close down.
Closing down is really a safety mechanism. It isn’t a hard close where they choose to close in the permanent way of choosing fear over love. Closing down is lonely and isolating. It also feels like nothing. When we close down for safety, we close to the bad we feel but also the good we feel. We don’t get to choose what goes in, when we are closed like this. We need time to process. Eventually we get lonely and decide to open all the way up again, and so the cycle of the flip and flopping continue. The Two Light Flip Flopper may stay in this cycle their entire lives. Ultimately there has to be a choice to fight for love, or get lost in fear. One can spend a lifetime hiding from this kind of choice. This won’t feel good, so they will need distraction and are often found in a relationship with a no light. The cycle of this relationship can keep them distracted from their happiness and purpose for a lifetime. They have lost hope and are just making the best of it.
Examples of Two Light Flip Flopper:
Ronald Weasley from Harry Potter. He is usually open, though he is often triggered by Harry Potter’s fame and success, and closes.
Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter. Throughout the series he has moments when he’s turned more toward fear or love. It is usually about safety, as his family is in a compromised position.
TWO LIGHT CLOSED: NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH
There is another way that Two Lights can show up in the world. They choose ego and fear. They let their feelings of not being good enough cloud their judgment. They do not let love in. They THINK they do, however, their love is a lower level love. It is full of expectations, jealousy and animosity. They intentionally harm people because they are competing for notoriety.
The negative metaphysical with this soul is dark and intentional. It seeks to destroy those with love. The soul may not understand why, but the meta does. It is fierce. It also disguises itself as loving and innocent. BE ASSURED love does not exist in ego. NEVER. This energy is desperate. It seeks to one up. If your pain is bad, theirs is way worse. If you become a threat, the energy coming your way will hurt your soul. I have done more healing from this type of energy than any other. Desperation is never a good thing.
This is why I call these souls the Narcissist Sociopath. Here, the person uses their abilities to read people and gain information about their fears and insecurities in order to exploit them.
A quote from the movie, A Wrinkle In Time, best describes this energy.
“The IT is spreading fast. Camazotz, the home to a purely evil energy that is actively spreading throughout the Universe. The IT’s home may be Camazots, but through darkness the IT’s reach spreads far beyond even to your own planet. The only thing in the universe that travels faster than light, is the darkness. The IT invades the place inside of us where hope and joy lives. Replaces it with jealousy and judgment, pain and despair. You see this is what the IT does. One person at a time until fear takes over, and fear turns to rage. Rage leads to violence and then there’s the tipping point. If we do not act soon darkness will fall across the Universe. We are in search of warriors who can fight the IT and who can bring hope back. “
“The IT shows us our potential. The IT can see the weakness of any soul.”
There is a negative influence that takes over the soul. This is why they are more manipulative than the no light. They read energy. The feel your weaknesses and use them against you. The negative metaphysical around these souls is very dark and destructive as well. The reason for this is because there is no resistance. There is no loving energy to guide or propel to a different vibration. There is always choice, however, most do not choose anything different because they do not believe they are wrong or need changing. They are the classic blamers and do not take ownership…and the meta is strong. Another important note to add, is that they love controlling no lights. No lights are so easily manipulated by them and will often be used as pawns, doing the bidding of the two light closed. When a sensitive is in a relationship with a no light and give up on love, they often make the choice to hard close. That gives them power over the no light like they’ve never had before. But at an immeasurable cost.
Examples of Two Light Closed:
Many Disney Villains are Two Light Closed. Ursula from The Little Mermaid, Jafar from Aladdin, Dr. Facilier (The Shadow Man) from The Princess and the Frog, Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, Scar from The Lion King..etc.
- This is the Death Eaters in Harry Potter, with Voldemort being the main example.
- Sherlock in the BBC Series, admits that he is a high functioning sociopath, totally a two light closed.
There is another type of soul that is here to help guide those on the Journey of the Soul. Enlightened souls aren’t souls that know everything and somehow transcend the human experience. They simply understand energy. All energy. They are not afraid of the darkness because they have faced it over and over and over and still choose love. They are the ultimate permission people for Divine Love and the Healing in our modern time. They are not perfect or overly spiritual.
For this soul, there is a journey of the soul that requires facing this IT type energy. It is how to gain the authority to remove dark energies and bring forth light. Love is the most important thing. Divine Love is the one that gives us our third light. Kayla and I have been on this journey for over six years now. It has been one of the most difficult and challenging times. The most important thing, we didn’t get lost in the mission. It is important to be grounded and relatable. This isn’t about being more special. It is about rank. The CIA has ranks depending on how many missions you have completed successfully. We simply ran a lot of missions and have the stripes and scars to show for it. Only a mother/daughter love could withstand this kind energy and not turn.
So when we guide you on your journey to reclaim your throne, your rank, your purpose, we are not afraid of the dark. We can stand side by side through the darkest journey of the soul moments with you and not lose hope. Our guiding mantra in the last few years has been: Love always wins. We are here to tell you that this is absolutely true.
Love brought us through. Love brought you here. You are the reason we went on so many missions. We are simply here to love and guide.
Love is the strongest vibration. At any moment we choose love, our love story begins. We cannot control other souls and their choice to turn to love or fear. We have to release this or we will be stuck in our own waiting hell. We have to put ourselves first. Our children need strong and wise leaders. They need to see us lead by example. Understanding the energy around us is very important to begin to take back control and not feel so overwhelmed by life.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a less than desirable soul, take deep breaths. You chose this relationship. There may very well be an end date, but it was FOR you to GROW you and prepare you. We often have parents we can’t understand, or painful relationships that baffle us. This information is to help with clarity, to help make sense of the madness.
Love honors choice. Healing comes when we can see what is real and release the false perceptions and false expectations. You didn’t make a mistake. You made the best decisions you could at the time and most of us made these decisions while we were sleepwalking, not yet awakened.
Learning to clear negative metaphysical energy will massively help as you see that being in relationship with others that have this influence around them will be painful for you. You will continue to be stuck if you stay in crappy energy. Learning the difference in all the souls, their energy, and the meta around them will help you manage your own reactions to them.
Your loving light is a beacon of hope and healing for others… Start with you. Claim freedom and independence. Love always wins. Love is stronger than anything we come up against. ALWAYS.